From Script to Screen - Revised Story 4

  After another tutorial today about my story,  it was deemed best to try and keep my environment to one place rather then too many. Also, there needs to be more of a purpose for the retired BDE expert to be at the theatre, so we discussed him being hired at the theatres new janitor. There is still a query into whether the story needs drama teacher, but this will all be figured out more as more elements are added. The dog is a comedy factor/ sidekick, so he is quite energetic and puppy-like.

I feel like we may be coming to an end product for the story, but will more then likely need a few more tweaks.

* BDE means Bomb Disposal Expert.
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Revised Story 4

Act 1

 - BDE starts working as a new janitor for the local theatre, dog chewing on a toy/ bone in background.

 - BDE waves goodbye to the drama teacher as she leaves. 

 - BDE starts mopping the stage.

 - Stops and looks at the pictures on the walls, one of him and mates in bomb disposal squad/ pulls out picture from wallet of him and bomb disposal team-mates.

 - BDE starts reminiscing about younger days. 

 - Dog stops chewing toy, gets up and starts sniffing around.

 - Dog starts digging though prop box.

 - BDE notices and calls dog over.

 - Dog returns with something in mouth, BDE tries to retrieve item but do resists.

 - Game of tog starts.

 - BDE manages to get object, on closer inspection realises it a unexploded bomb.

 - Dog excitedly jumps jump, trying to get bomb.

 - BDE moves it away but not in time, Dog catches pin in  mouth.

 - Dog stands before BDE with pin in mouth.

 - Dog swallows the pin, seeming pleased with itself.

 - Bomb starts ticking.

Act 2

 - BDE starts to panic, looking and running around.

 - In blind panic, throws bomb to the back of the theatre, readying to run.

 - Dog runs past happily, retrieving the bomb and comes back. 

 - BDE goes to grab bomb but dog runs off, thinking its a game. 

 - In chase, Dog knocks over the water bucket and mop.

 - BDE slips along floor on soapy water/ Legs get tangles in mop.

 - Crashes into Costume box.

 - Dog comes back and pulls BDE from the wreckage, BDE wearing Bomb disposal cap.

 - As BDE sits up, doig then drops bomb into lap.

 - Bomb starts to tick faster. 

 - BDE sees the open hatch to the back of the theatre stage. 

 - BDE runs over and throws bomb down hatch.

 - Tries to shut hatch but wont move, hinge holding it open is stuck.

 - BDE notices heavy sword mounted on the theatre walls, runs over an drags it over. 

 - Uses swords weight to release the mechanism and the hatch shuts. 

 - BDE then runs to hide behind some of the chairs for cover, the dog bounding after him and barking happily.

Act 3

- Nothing happens, confused the BDE peers behind the chair.

 - Drama teacher returns to theatres, notices the messand the BDE cowering behind one of the chairs. 

 - BDE jumps up, telling her about the bomb.

 - Drama teacher laughs, walks towards the hatch and goes down.

 - Returns with the bomb still ticking.

 - Bomb shields away, when ticking stops, opens one eye to see what's going on.

 - Bomb has a little flag out the top with "BOOM"

 - Shocked, the BDE drops to chair.

 - Teacher explains its a prop, and had come back to retrieve it.

 - Both sit in chair laughing.

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  Premise

        

  Retired Bomb Disposal Expert takes on a new job as a local theatre janitors, his dog comes across a bomb and chaos ensues in disposing of it.

  The Log Line

  Bill (The retired bomb disposal Expert) starts a new job as a janitor at the local theatre, his sniffer do comes across a bomb. Bill struggles to be rid of the bomb, his trusty companion endeavoring to bring it back, eventually they learn that the bomb was just a prop.